Update from 10/9 post

My new goal after some much needed Jesus slobbering, pillow soaking, singing at the top of my lungs time, is to laugh and laugh and laugh. I just want to live and breath my God given blessings and gifts. I am tired of my robbed lifestyle. It is time to live! Unashamed. Unscarred. Free. Full of grace. Ready to give it away.

Super Mom????

I don't have time for the gym anymore, but I definitely need it, so I have tried to think of a way to exercise without going to the gym, with a 2 year old. I don't think I can push him in the stroller while running...not to mention, he doesn't want to ride around in the stroller. The little time we are home and playing outside, he wants to be in his sandbox or writing with chalk. So today I ran the perimeter of our backyard while he played in the sandbox! I felt so stupid, but very accomplished! I EXERCISED WHILE GREY PLAYED!!!! Yippee! I am very curious to the thoughts of my passersby. I laugh out loud thinking about it! It was funny because I didn't expect a personal trainer for my home workout but I got one! Grey was saying "go mommy go!" and "come on mommy!" the whole time. He ran with me! It was fun.

Stupid #2:
I was pushing Grey on the swing...he likes to go"super fast"
so I push him and say it is super fast. Well this afternoon I learned why to push the swing and not the bottom of the baby. In my most excited "mommy super hero voice" I counted down 5-4-3-2-1 but instead of blast off...my baby was pushed onto the ground! I 100% knew we were going to the hospital to get a cast on his wrist. I must have been pale as a ghost! As I am investigating his entire body, he cries ( I think from pain) that he wants to go super fast and starts the countdown over! His goes something like this, "3-4-2-1". Oh my sweet baby boy. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry, so I just pushed super high like the super mom I am!

Roller Coaster

This entry is in pink, because that's a girl color and this is all about me! This week I have cried my eyes out, been rescued by my knight, then let off the hook. Maybe I was overreacting to failing my midterm, but turns out, the computer graded it wrong. Somehow, even hindsight, doesn't make me feel bad for screaming and crying about a 67!
Why does everything has to be so crazy in life? Rick Warren described life, not as peaks and valleys, but as a two way railroad track. We are always either just coming out of a trial, in the middle of a trial, or getting ready to go into one. Life constantly changes and teaches. Happiness is not the goal, but my goal is Christ-likeness in character. Lord, make that true in my life! I would love to be in a place where my circumstances are not all that I can see. The Lord is in all things. His ways are good and my ways are...NOT!

God has opened my eyes this week to one way I perceive myself. It isn't pretty. I didn't ask Him to reveal this ugliness to me, but somehow He thought it time for me to see. The truth is God loves me (or doesn't love me) not for my broken glass, shattered dreams, and hopelessness. He loves me because He created me. He sees me white because Jesus died for me. When will I believe? I want to see others as He has graciously seen me...without judgement and blame. With a pure heart. I don't want to constantly compete to be enough or to be above who I think I am. I am who God says I am and I don't need to work for worthiness of those claims. whew. I sigh with relieve and now I have to get back to life...it is called laundry! Oh! Before I quit, I want to share about my knight. He's no secret...He is my adoring husband. I love him so much and am so thankful for his sensitive heart and gentle words. I love when God uses him to reflect true, unconditional love. Hmm..mmm feels good.

Imagination Blast Off!

This entry is to share Grey's recent bubble of imagination. I was in the living room folding the recently dried clothes when I hear, "Mommy, I'm in the airplane" Grey was in the dryer! He was so cute and truly believed he was flying the airplane, then my little pilot had to eat lunch, which he described at "belicious!". A couple of evenings ago, we sat down to eat supper and Grey said "blessing mommy?", so we folded our hands and said the blessing. He has never shown much interest in the blessing before. Afterwards, he clasped his hands and asked, "like this Mommy?". Then he said, "do it again!" So we blessed the food twice. Since he is 2 and we have to do all things 20 times, I was thankful we only said the blessing 2 times! Tucking Grey in, Josh said "Jesus loves you Grey" and he said "Jesus loves me. I am special". It's sinking in! Don't get too mushy though because on another night, when he wasn't feeling as generous, I tried to strike a cleaning deal. I said, "deal?" and he was quick to reply, "no deal, Mommy, no deal". Josh and I could hardly contain our laughter!

Last Sunday, Grey helped me prepare food for the youth group. When he dropped something, he said "sorry bout that"! How funny.

Right now, everything that makes noise outside is a peacock. I have no idea why...I didn't even know peacocks made noise! On our way to school Tuesday, Grey was pointing out the window at nothing in particular when he suddenly exclaimed, "Bicycle!" A few seconds later, "Lollipop, haircut!" Then he died laughing. He thinks everything is hilarious. He makes yummy tea in his sandbox, but makes sure I know it is pretend. He told me the berry he was holding this morning was a pretend lollipop but then he took a bite out of it! yikes. He makes roads out of my shoes...lots and lots of shoes. I am so tired of picking up my shoes, but it is too fun to make him stop.

One last story...Grey told me that I was irresistible while we were playing, because I tell him that regularly. I was texting Josh to tell him that Grey called me that great word. As I'm texting, I was sounding out the word to spell it, and Grey finished it for me "ible". I thought that was pretty neat!

His big word right now is "awesome". Have no idea where he gets that! :) wink. Imagination is so much fun, even if it is boy stuff!

Twin Falls

You can click on any picture to make it bigger. Let us know if you want to go hiking! I'm ready to go again. Yes, we are in 3 different outfits. Grey had a huge fall in the first outfit so we had a wardrobe change. His little mouth was bleeding but he is tough and regained composure for the rest of the photo shoot!

Twin Falls

We spent the morning at Twin Falls hiking and falling! It was wonderful. I love Fall weather.

Grey's 2nd Birthday

Grey had an ice cream birthday party by request. We had cake in a cone, a pinata, and lots and lots of presents! He had a blast. All the kids played on his new swingset and in the sandbox, which is his favorite. He will play in that sandbox for over an hour!

Grey is 2 and wide open. His sentences are 7 and 8 words long! The other day he was playing and was referencing double doors- "those 2 doors are open too Mommy" I am constantly amazed. Yesterday he was helping me cook...really helping. He had to have his own spoon. He whisked the banana pudding and shreaded chicken. He dropped something and said "sorry bout that" ha! He is still a little small but I am not worrying about that too much, because he runs and plays like a champ. We are learning to play with our friends nicely...that is a challenge sometimes. When he realizes he did something wrong, he pats his friend and says "okay?" He has a gentle spirit and is very happy overall. We finally got a couple molars in, but they don't hold him back. He likes to eat leaves (broccoli) and chicken. He loves chocolate! The thing I like most about Grey is his love for music. He hears music in lots of things, like noises outside and spoons turning while I'm cooking. He has drumsticks that are his prize possession. We love to worship together! Life is so sweet! Oh I forgot to say that Grey is potty trained! how exciting.

Westside '98

Saturday night was monumental! Joshua had his 10 year high school reunion! Wow- we were sad but laughing at the fact that we've been looking forward to this and anticipating it for over a year and now it has come and gone. It is hard to believe! It was like a photo shoot- we smiled and took pictures for everyone's cameras all night long. It was a blast! My favorite part was seeing Josh's high school pictures on the big screen! Oh my has he changed!

Panama City Beach '08

We had the best time at the beach! None of us wanted to come home. Joshua and I both expressed that we've never had a more relaxing vacation. Jason and Andrea were extremely hospitable and spoiled us rotten. The weather was incredible and we ate good all week long! Grey absolutely loved the beach. He ran in and out of the water over and over. Joshua was such an amazing dad...he played with Grey for hours. I am so proud of him. He can't contain his love for Grey. Not to mention his love for me...he told me one time that he wanted to be all that God wanted him to be, for me (wordy). Well, he is. He is a reflection of true love to me all the time. I am constantly caught off guard by his generosity and service to me. I am so thankful for a husband who loves the Lord and reflects His goodness. Okay, the pictures:

Out of control

God is convinced he is going to teach me how to live out of control. It is a wonder he hasn't given up on me! I want so much to be able to let the rest of my life fade away and simply live out of control moment by moment as He directs. My flesh, on the other hand, gets tired of being a "christian". It just wants to live out of control too, but you know what I mean... I need rest in Christ. I am always trying to figure everything out for myself. Just when I thought my life was starting to smooth out, I am thrown for another loop, hence God reminding me that I am not in control. I am so thankful that He is, even though that is not something I can feel. It is funny how my life might look the same to the people around me, but so many things in my mind are changing. I don't want to look the same anymore. I want God's glory, however he wants to bring it, to show on my face. I want to be changed. How do you give up all that you have to live for him? I'm ready to know.

Shake the Toddler

Whoo, I am so happy for bedtime some days. Grey dropped to one nap a day but it is all he and I can handle! I consider myself a well informed loving mother...actually I love being a mom and think Grey loves having me as his mom! haha However.....(drum roll) there are moments when I want to shake the toddler! I never had that temptation when Grey was an infant despite all the warnings, etc...I need a warning now. My child tells me what cup he wants to use, what shirt he wants to wear, what chair he wants to sit in, and and (listen to this!) which direction to go on the road...yes from his car seat in the back seat. I did say CAR SEAT, didn't I? My not even 2 year old is telling me how to DRIVE!!!! Can someone tell me I'm normal please? I should be thrilled that he is exploring and branching out- using his personality and curiosity...but I'm not. It is so exhausting. He so sweetly requests with manners that I read him a tory...20 times a day. The s is left off intentionally :) He is absolutely irresistible...why can't he just be content to watch tv like those bad kids! ha The funniest thing to me is wherever we are (church, etc) if we have to sit on the potty, I can recite our potty book by heart and so can he....it works like a charm...He can pee anywhere! Well, this sums up my deep feelings of the day. Despite my selfish, tired impatience, when we are taking a bath and Grey's eyelashes are heavy with water, he looks up at me with a sloppy grin and my heart falls in love all over again. Lord, when I don't get enough sleep please give me a gentle spirit. You are always loving toward us.

All About Grey

Grey has really become a "big boy" this Summer. He is doing great using the "potty" but never forgets to ask for his M&M. He is speaking in full sentences, which is so funny to listen to...Daddy and Mommy are watching what they say! Grey is practicing sharing and will say "be nice". He confuses mine and yours so he just says them together, "mine,yours", then of course he keeps it, even though we established the item wasn't his! ha Our favorite is "hold you" and "come here"...absolutely irresistible. I loved the morning at church when God showed me that when I ask Him to "come here" like Grey does, he finds me irresistible too. What a comfort that we have such a loving Daddy in Heaven. It doesn't matter how sleepy I am and lazy on the couch, when Grey grabs my finger and says "come" I am up and going wherever he wants! Yes, he is spoiled with tons of love. Now Grey is beginning to say "different" when I pick a shirt or a drink for him...whatever it is, he wants to pick. Grey had his first haircut 2 weeks ago. It was not fun. He screamed the whole time...looks cute though and the curls DID come back! I am relieved. Well, as my timing goes, next time I blog I will probably be putting 2 year old birthday party pics on here! Life is so much fun!

My poor baby was so sick. It made me so sad!
Here, he is loving life with Elmo!
Swimming in his awesome backyard...fence complete!
Bode and Grey attacking Josh!
Helping Mommy water the plants.

Searching

There is so much to say, I don't know where to begin. My thought is...God. He is all encompassing and mesmerizing. I can't relent in my search for Him, yet sometimes he seems so out of reach. I am in awe how He is able to grab my attention even though my deep desire is never quenched. I just want to be immersed in His presence. I can't find contentment right now. He is everywhere and sometimes He is no where that I look. Why is it that I look in the wrong places first? I can search all that is around me and in front of me but it is in the quiet that I meet Him. Then I say that I can't see Him or feel Him but then I look at my life and He is there. My emotions fail me, but He is there. Strong. Faithful. He is always there. Why has He stripped me of all that I serve? Does He want to meet with me? This is my all time favorite verse/story in the Bible...probably because it find myself alone in desert often (by my own doing usually). "Therefore I am now going to allure her: I will lead her to the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth". Why do I always beg to get out of the desert when it is in the desert that Christ speaks tenderly to me? I hope that He will one day allow me to sing again. The next time that I sing it will be with my heart. There is no other way to worship Him. "God, rock my world"

Sweet Spring Days

I can't get enough of these perfect Spring days. Neither can Grey. He wakes up everyday wanting his shoes so that he can swing and ride in his car and play football. What a blast!!! We are in the process now of building the fence so that he is safe. I can't wait to be lazy. He got new sandals and he wants to sleep in them. Shoe shopping was hilarious. He didn't like Mommy and Mimi trying on without him so we went to his section where he picked out his own and told me to take his off and put the new ones on! I have a friend!


All the moms at Grits and Groceries!!! So much fun to be with the gals. Let's do it again! When I got home my husband had wonderfully surprised me with a fully landscaped garden leading up to my front door. I couldn't ask for more. He loves me!

Easter 08

This is the boys hitting the boiled eggs with a golf club!!! It was hilarious!

Easter was really wonderful. Grey still was not very interested in eggs. He took a "hidden" egg off of the toy lawn mower so that he could play with the lawn mower! ha He was cute the whole time though so I loved it! Poor Josh...he had to share his birthday with Jesus this year! That's okay because he will be calling on Jesus when he jumps out of that airplane!!!

St. Pats Day in April...it is 40 degrees!

Ha- This is a perfect depiction of my hectic life- here are the promised pics from St. Patricks Day.

Daddy's Birthday

Last night we had a small celebration for Josh's birthday and no one knows where or how he learned it, but Grey was singing Happy Birthday!!!! with words! I was astonished at what this little guy could do! He is always picking new things up. Since it was St. Patrick's Day he wore green pants- they are crazy cute- I'll add pics in a little while.

My little bed head

I love to laugh when the room is quiet and I love staying up when I should be sleeping to talk about nothing! I really love walking into Grey's room in the morning- his smile lights my life. This morning I had to turn on the lights to get him up...sleepy head. His little face was scrunched and he said "eyes, eyes". That has to be the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Life is good. My goal is to enjoy every minute of it.

Dare to be different, dare to be called strange. Dare to be different and the cross around your neck should mean you've truly changed.
Degarmo & Key

I believe in the sun Even when it is not shining.
I believe in love Even when feeling it not.
I believe in God Even when God is silent.


This text was found by Allied troops in 1945. It was written on the wall of a basement in Cologne, Germany, presumably by someone hiding from the Gestapo. In its simplicity, it is a profound statement of faith in the midst of adversity. http://www.drbecky.com/

I love the song that says this and while hunting it I found where it originated!!! God constantly proves his faithfulness and relentless love in our lives. He is at work even when we feel so blind. I am burdened to pass that along.

18 months

We can really see the progress on the room now! The vinyl siding is finished and we are waiting on the rough in inspection now. Then we can start the pretty stuff like walls and floors. This picture is a few moments before Grey gets knocked over by the wind and gets a big boo-boo.



Grey has formed an attachment with his lion, Tags. Every night after "rock-rock" time with Dad, he heads toward his bed asking for Tags and Blanket (of course with an accentuated /t/).

Grey has finally reached a whopping 21lbs!!! We are thankful and know that God's plan for him and his size is perfect.

Pee Pee

Greyson is infatuated with pee-pee right now! He has gone in the toilet two times now! Mommy doesn't quite know what to do! I guess it seems obvious, "potty train"! I'm really not ready... Ready or not- Greyson is ready! Here we go! Any tips?

17 months

Grey is learning how to swim...he says "kick, kick, kick!" He begs all day for a bath. Grey loves to go outside and see the progress on the new room. It is so much fun, except when it is time to go inside with mud on our shoes. Mommy has given up on keeping the floors too clean right now. He is carrying a toy screwdriver. Loves to find the nails.
Here he is again- Daddy just can't get enough of Greyson. They love to bonk each other in the head. Daddy teaches Grey not to bonk Mommy.
My 1st appie. I ate the whole thing! Why didn't Mommy give this to me sooner? His mouth is slam packed! Before bed he gives us the peel out of his mouth.
A day when it isn't raining! But we won't complain about the rain. Thank you Jesus for rain.
This week Greyson is telling us all about what is in that diaper! I don't know if he can wait until May!
This week my eyes are open to my friends' needs. It doesn't take much looking to see that people around me are in need. I am thankful for Christ in my life and want so much for others to see the Hope. My heart is hurting but I am comforted that Jesus knows our suffering and is compassionate! He is always enough!